The Zoo of BYU

So, coming back to BYU has been a little scary, hard, and sometimes awkward. For one thing, there are SO MANY PEOPLE! Oh my goodness, I'm more used to it now, but it freaked me out to be in such huge crowds. It's kind of like when I got transferred from Oakdale to Covington and I went to the Walmart there. Huge compared to Oakdale. So many people. It was overwhelming. That is BYU. Crowded.

Then you have to relearn how to interact with all these people. A lot of the time I don't very much. I keep to myself. You'd think that I could strike up a conversation with anyone after doing it for 18 months. But in a way, it's nice to not feel bad if you don't talk to everybody you meet. I probably could be and should be a little more outgoing though. Friends are good to have.

So then in addition to the social readjustment, there's the academic readjustment. Missionaries study every day, yes, but oh boy is there a lot to do now! The studying hardly ever stops (although I'm basically done with all my homework for the week and I'll be starting on next week shortly--can't hurt to get ahead). There are so many projects, so much reading, and this semester, a lot of worksheet-type homework.

Not only is the study time crazy, but the subject matter itself is ridiculous. What the heck am I doing? I keep telling myself that just because you don't like one class doesn't mean you shouldn't study something, but sometimes I think I'm completely insane. English Language and editing? Wait, why did I think I liked editing? This class is awful. That's where all the worksheets come in. And the readings from 6 books. And the memorization of spelling words and vocab. Uh, this sounds like high school. Didn't I graduate 5 years ago?

There's definitely a struggle in figuring out what I really want to do, and I don't particularly like any of the classes for my major this semester. But I'm going forward. We'll see how it goes.

But in spite of all the struggles and frustrations the first few weeks of school have entailed, I can say that God does bless His children. I know He's been helping me keep up. He's helped me study. He's helped me do better on my tests and assignments than I expected. He's definitely blessing me and making up the difference. I've forgotten all sorts of things that I should know, but it's okay. It's still working out. I just have to keep trusting in Him. One thing I started to really understand as a missionary was the reality of the enabling power of grace. But of course that lesson isn't learned, it's not done. And I get to keep learning now. That's what life is all about.

And isn't life fabulous?